We only have a few years
When I saw a crew of pirates using a harpoon to drag themselves through the desert while screaming pirate things, I knew I was playing a game I wanted to keep playing for a long long time.
My mother hung this guy on my shower, and my toilet is facing him
I’m sitting there on the toilet in dead silence while this guy’s just hanging in front of me
Suddenly he starts to wiggle and flail around in front of me
Before my mind realizes it’s an earthquake, I start to fucking panic thinking the fucker came to life and he’s trying to free himself from his coat-hanger to murder me
There I am, at my most vulnerable, literally screaming “OH GOD, OH GOD, NO, NO” and covering my face with tears in my eyes, heart racing
Because I thought that fucking bird had come to life to murder me
Fuck you stupid looking bird
Fuck you right in the ass
Just reminding everyone why we came to Tumblr.
I can’t believe I was arguing about dumb shit on the internet
I forgot I was here for COOL PORN AND DINOSAURS
Could you imagine if furry logic existed in reality?
Like what if every time we consumed protein, it made our semen production skyrocket
And the longer we went without release, the bigger our balls got
We’d have a burger for lunch, then go to class and sit there trying to pay attention while…
come over for a cuppa?
opps spilled some